Lessons Learned From My Grandkids

By Jack Kean

Our two grandkids (ages 6 and 9) recently spent three weeks with us, and it was a learning, or a relearning, experience. They are the best kids in the world, but everyone knows that. Still, we learned some valuable lessons.

“Cleaning the house in preparation for a visit from your grandchildren is a waste of time.” Well, maybe not a complete waste of time, since the house is no doubt more livable without your dirty underwear on the floor and dishes waiting to be washed in the sink. The grandchildren are unlikely, however, to appreciate the time you spent dusting that chandelier.

“You really can be eaten out of house and home.” As I looked in the mostly empty pantry, spotting a sack of brown sugar that hadn’t been seen in years and noting it had the consistency of concrete, the truth of this statement became obvious. A half empty sack of rice, two cans of cream of something soup, and a box of whole wheat pasta also saw the light of day for the first time since we stocked up when moving into the house.

“A diet of Frosted Flakes and hotdogs can sustain life.” Okay, I’ll admit the occasional grilled cheese sandwich rounds out the diet of my granddaughter. In all ways, she seems healthy enough, but the term picky eater does seem to fit.

“Keeping toys confined to one room is something only Martha Stewart and that mean-looking woman on TV can actually do.” The plan was simple in concept. Each child would have a room in which to play and scatter toys. The other rooms, where the dog and I might be, would be toy-free. This plan lasted for about half an hour.

“Giving instructions to grandchildren is pretty much useless unless you use the magic words.” Some examples include: Put on your shoes…; pick up your toys…; wash your hands for supper…. The magic words of course are, RIGHT NOW.

Time is measured differently by the grandkids. Five more minutes in the swimming pool can mean five minutes, but it more likely means until you absolutely make them get out.

Even if the grandchildren are playing quietly alone, they will instantly appear under the following circumstances: if you turn the television on to any program not suited for them; if you get a scoop of ice cream or piece of candy; if you lie down to take a nap.

All new toys have to be assembled, and it will take a minimum of one hour and probably require a magnifying glass. The kids will stand over you for about five minutes before losing interest and playing something else until you finish.

“Personal DVD players are not a good thing for the kids, but they may save your sanity in a pinch.” No more threatening the kids in the backseat when traveling. Now you just give them a DVD player along with some movies and take off. Personal DVD players can also be used to provide essential nap time—for you.

“The neighbors who let their kids run wild in the street may not be such bad people after all.” Come on now admit it, you’ve had some negative thoughts about your neighbors whose children always seem to be running wild in the neighborhood. Maybe you’ve even thought if they were your kids, you would keep them at home, possibly in the house. Wrong. After a few days with the grandkids, I have developed a better appreciation of the neighbors’ situation.

“Enjoy what you are doing and worry about tomorrow, t o m o r r o w. ” This is the best lesson of all.

Jack Kean is the author of three novels: Being From The South Doesn't Make Me Stupid, Deadly Sacrifice, and What If The Winner Dies? Prior to retirement, he was employed in law enforcement on the federal level. He is a graduate of the University of Mississippi School of Law in Oxford. Jack is a native Mississippian, but he currently lives in Alabama, having moved there from Woodstock, Ga.