Senior Moments, Not Just For Seniors

By Jack Kean

Every time somebody forgets what they are saying or why they went to the store or the name of their first cousin twice removed, they call it a “senior moment.” I’m darn sick and tired of every forgetful moment being referred to as a “senior moment.” It’s like nobody under 50 ever forgets anything.

There are lots of reasons for forgetfulness that don’t include being a “senior.” There’s the woman sitting at the wrong gate when her plane took off, who then reported her car stolen after she searched in a different parking lot from where she actually parked it. She wasn’t a senior, she was pregnant. Yes, there are studies that indicate pregnancy causes forgetfulness.

Memory loss in people of all ages can also be the result of increased pressures in daily life. Depression, stress and fatigue can overload the mind with information and form roadblocks to memories (http://www.stjohn.org/ HealthInfoLib/swArticle.aspx?1,817). So maybe we could call it a depression moment or a stress moment or a fatigue moment. The problem is that none of those has the ring of senior moment.

There I was, sitting in front of Wal-mart, watching people come and go as my wife ran in for “just a minute.” Forget that a family of eight entered the store, had lunch at Subway, and left with six carts piled high; it was “just a minute.” I’m pretty sure that time actually slows down for women in the “shopping” mode.

Jeff Foxworthy does a bit about how Wal-mart shoppers don’t dress as well as the average person, and my observations seemed to bear out his comments. I only hope that most of the shoppers were not heading for the bakery, but making their way to the triple extra large section of the clothing department. Bare midsections are particularly unattractive when they bulge out between shirt and pants.

A few Wal-mart shopper tips here: if any part of your body jiggles when you walk, cover it up; if you need to take a smoke break, don’t stand next to the cart containing your small child; while it is not necessary to dress for Wal-mart, do consider better attire than what you wear to go fishing.

Back to the matter at hand, I noted a young woman in shorts pushing a shopping cart. She, unlike many of the shoppers, was thin and tanned, and she had no child in the cart. I noticed her not only because she was different from the others, but because she started at one side of the parking lot and then pushed her cart to the center of a parking lane and looked down it. Then she went to the next one and so on and so on. After about ten parking lanes, she apparently found her car.

I smiled. She couldn’t have been even 30, and yet, she had a so-called senior moment.

You are certainly not alone in sometimes being forgetful. President Jimmy Carter left the codes needed to launch a nuclear missile strike in a suit sent to the dry-cleaners. Ralph Waldo Emerson forgot Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s name at Longfellow’s funeral. John McCain could not recall how many houses he owns.

The brain actually uses forgetfulness as a tool to avoid confusion and to inhibit cognitive overload. It is selective and remembers relevant information and sidelines similar and less-used information. Forgetfulness, if viewed from this angle, is therefore beneficial, and a sign of proper brain functioning. (http://www.nativeremedies.com/articles/healthyforgetfulness.html)

So, forgetting isn’t all bad, no matter what you call it. 

Jack Kean is the author of three novels: Being From The South Doesn't Make Me Stupid, Deadly Sacrifice, and What If The Winner Dies? Prior to retirement, he was employed in law enforcement on the federal level. He is a graduate of the University of Mississippi School of Law in Oxford. Jack is a native Mississippian, but he currently lives in Alabama, having moved there from Woodstock, Ga.