SHOW ME THE MONEY!

By Jack Kean

Many of us who read Modern Senior Living have lived most of our lives without computers and cell phones. Don’t feel bad about this because our children and grandchildren will one day find themselves in a similar situation with some new technology. However, new technology also means new crimes to commit.

Today, as I sit before my computer to begin this column, I was notified not once but twice that I had won the South African Lottery. One reads as follows: “We are pleased to inform you of the result of the just concluded annual final draws held to promote South Africa 2010 World Cup. Your email was among the 20 Lucky winners who won $500,000 (Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars) each in the SAZKA/A.S COMPANY 2008 PROMOTION.”

The second notification was even richer. “Congratulations, your email address is among the Seven lucky winners that won US$1,450,000 (One Million, Four Hundred And Fifty Thousand US Dollars) each in the just concluded draw held to promote SOUTH AFRICA 2010 WORLD CUP.” Gee, what do you think the odds are that I would have won twice on the same day?

Day Two of writing this article has resulted in ranking me as the luckiest person in the world. I was advised that I had won the South African Lottery yet again. In case you are counting, that is three times in two days. But wait, though credulity is strained beyond belief, I just won the Canadian Lottery.

There is a widow in Nigeria who wants to give me millions of dollars. Imagine that, an African widow has selected me out of all the people in the world to receive the millions left to her by her deceased husband. Routinely, people who claim to be in Africa want to send me money. They will send me ten million, and I can keep three million and send them the remaining seven million. It seems that they can’t get their hands on the money any other way. There is the occasional notice that I’ve won the lottery in the U.K. or Australia, which is amazing because I’ve never entered either one. The only lottery I do enter, Mega Millions in Georgia, never sends me any money.

Of course, there are the many, many emails I get offering to straighten out my taxes or bank accounts. Incredibly, I don’t have accounts at most of the places that seemingly want to help me with those non-existent accounts. There is also the guy who offers $500 for mystery shopping. He really just wants information about you and will eventually figure out a way to get your money. Mystery shopping is perfectly legitimate, but the pay is very modest.

All together now, let’s say: SCAM. I don’t have the space to explain how these scams work, but it doesn’t matter IF you don’t respond. Don’t ever send them information about yourself. They are crooks engaging in a new form of crime known as “phishing.” They send out millions of these phony emails for very little cost, and if only one in a hundred thousand takes the bait, it is profitable for them.

Did I tell you about the Chevron Texaco poverty alleviation program? Well, they want to send me $852,000. Yep, that would alleviate my poverty.

The scams never end, but I don’t participate and neither should you. 

Jack Kean is the author of three novels: Being From The South Doesn't Make Me Stupid, Deadly Sacrifice, and What If The Winner Dies? Prior to retirement, he was employed in law enforcement on the federal level. He is a graduate of the University of Mississippi School of Law in Oxford. Jack is a native Mississippian, but he currently lives in Alabama, having moved there from Woodstock, Ga.