It's 2000 and WHAT?

By Jack Kean 

 As Yogi Berra said, "It's getting late earlier." Ever had days when you wondered where the time went? Ever wonder why football season comes and goes so quickly? Ever say to yourself, "But I just went to the dentist?" Have you noticed that this century seems to be zipping on by? Many of our grandchildren will know about the 20th century only through history books and old television shows. I remain undecided about which of these will provide the more accurate picture.

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

People have spent a lot of time talking about time (which, along with singing, is all you can do about time), so I thought I would share a few of their thoughts with you and maybe even a thought of my own ­ if I have time.

Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States and not one to waste words said, "We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once." While coming from a man known most for doing little and talking less, it is the encouragement I needed to take the puppy for a walk. Well, his saying and my wife's, to be more honest. Her saying was, "Take the dog for a walk."

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." This could quite possibly be the only thing Bertrand Russell, 1950 Nobel Prize Winner in Literature, ever said that makes sense to me. Then again, I've only had time to locate this one quote. What a wonderful thought for golfers, bowlers, bridge players, and all the rest of us who sometimes fleetingly think we should be doing something more productive than goofing off. From this we can take an important life lesson: if you enjoy doing it, it ain't wasting time. Thanks Bertrand.

"Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately, it doesn't seem to be working." This is a favorite quote from my good friend, anonymous.

Just when you think you can't handle even one more problem, your brother-in-law calls to say they are driving from Ohio to Florida and naturally, want to spend a few days with you in Georgia. Of course, it is almost magical how time can slow down while they visit. Could this be an example of the Relativity of Time Theory?

It is said that taking a short nap is a good thing, but now we don't just take naps, we take "power" naps. Only in America could the idea of a little shuteye be turned into a trip up the corporate ladder. My new favorite quote about naps comes from the comic strip Kit and Carlyle. "Naps are a way of traveling painlessly through time into the future." And you wondered what naps had to do with time.

We seem to always be interested in saving time. I did a search for "saving time" on Amazon and got 34,049 results. I wonder how much time it would take to read all the books on saving time. One is titled, Time Saving Gourmet Cookbook. Should the words "gourmet" and "time saving" be in the same book? I say, if you are in a hurry, use the microwave. If you're doing gourmet, plan on spending some time in the kitchen.

Jim Croce wrote a song titled, Time In A Bottle, and a portion of one verse is, "If I could save time in a bottle" So, thinking along those lines, if you could save time in a bottle, what would you save it to do? May I suggest, once you figure that out, do it.

Jack Kean is the author of three novels: Being From The South Doesn't Make Me Stupid, Deadly Sacrifice, and What If The Winner Dies? Prior to retirement, he was employed in law enforcement on the federal level. He is a graduate of the University of Mississippi School of Law in Oxford. Jack is a native Mississippian, but he currently lives in Alabama, having moved there from Woodstock, Ga.