The Cigarette Thing 

By Cathy Hall

There are a lot of great things about writing: the working in my pj’s, the thinking up crazy columns, the watching TV for “research” purposes, and the playing of video games while pretending to write. But I wasn’t prepared for the cigarette thing.

When I was young, about twentysomething, I enjoyed an occasional smoke. It generally lasted all day long. While I found this pursuit pleasurable, the future Mr. Hall did not. So I promised that the moment I became pregnant with our firstborn child, I would quit smoking forever.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. And like whatever that girl’s name was in Rumplestiltskin, the day came when I had to pay my debt. When the stick turned blue, I threw away the smokes.

Fast forward to our fifty-something writer, sitting in front of the computer, all alone. I write, write, write and then I think a little. Sometimes, I think a lot. And here’s where the whole cigarette thing comes in, trying to kick down my subconscious door.

See, all that sitting and thinking just begs for a cigarette. There is nothing like a smoke to get the old brain cells clicking. At least, that’s the way I remember it. Back in my radio copywriting days, I found smoking to be quite conducive to formulating stupendous thought waves. Not to mention that it’s the perfect antidote to looking cool and collected when you’re staring into space, not a single idea rattling around in your empty head. So, it’s no mystery why I’m suddenly craving cigs.

Still, a promise is a promise is a promise. So on I toil, fighting the urge to light up. Sure, I know I’m healthier. And probably wealthier, too.

But here’s the thing. Sometimes, I lean back in my chair and wonder if I could have been the next Hemingway, or the reincarnation of Margaret Mitchell, or maybe even the new Erma Bombeck! If only I had just one, lousy cigarette. 

------------------------ 

Cathy Hall is a freelance writer who loves to get published. Read her blog at cathychall.blogspot.com if you want to find out where she meets Fame and Fortune along the way.